I already knew.
He already knew.
She told me so and all I could do was trust.
We drove through a warm patch of filtered sun in an otherwise stormy sky and as we did the thought came. He has passed.
2 hours later my uncle will’s message came through asking me to call him.
When I did he hesitated and laboured to breathe. I waited for him to tell me what I already knew. I am sorry Sarah he said. Your Father has passed. And he wept.
I did not. I already had. So many tears. The past few days for him. The previous days for Lucy. And even prior to that. Months and years prior I had cried thinking of what might have been. But today I did not because I knew exactly that all was as it should be. All I wanted to hear was granted…he passed away with ease and peacefully. I had sent him a message of gratitude and compassion the day before. A very special friend had assured me he knew my intention. I deep down knew I had done everything I could to mend the broken hearts left in the wake of suffering and addiction of past choices. I surrendered and so did he finally and I hope he finds the peace his soul deserves. I look forward to another time when we have another opportunity to learn from each other in a better way. We have resolved what was ours to work out. My heart is full. I am grateful for this life I would not have had without him as part of it.
Goodbye for now my Father.