Today I have been faced with the conundrum of the mic drop in comparison to the dropping of other things, like said iphone. On Urban Dictionary, Mic Drop is outlined in 7 varying definitions (I recommend not going through them all, as the final might be unsettling, puzzling and profoundly offensive to you – as it was to me). I am referring to its use as literal (real microphone) or mimed (fake microphone) as a form of punctuation when there is nothing left to say following a rant or comeback of epic proportions.
I once (post-2012) lamely posted a Facebook selfie of a (mimed) mic drop on my laptop at the end of a reporting period, cue the teacher-dork jokes I know…other teacher-dork friends ate that shit up though, amassing 33 likes and 6 comments. I even used “Bam” in an effort to further drive home my report card writing awesomeness. I am cringing whilst head shaking under a wet blanket of self-loathing upon this reflection. (First order of forgiveness granted…feels so good to say it out loud. Out loud meaning the blogosphere.)
2016, not one of my brighter moments
Mic Dropping can be cool if it’s pre-2012 and you are the President of the United States being featured on late night TV. Beyond this, you should (I know, there’s that word again but I am well meaning) either repent or refrain from doing so all together. As I did further research I learned the history of the Mic Drop trails back as far as the 1980’s, with comedians like Eddie Murphy, various rap artists and even Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols (late 70’s) who, after asking the rhetorical question, “Ever get the feeling you been cheated? Good Night.” Mic Dropped and exited the stage, perhaps foreshadowing the break-up of the band 4 days later. (Click here for more resources about Mic Drop History, should your heart desire…and can I just say that I really really love the internet sometimes…I mean, wow.)
Second order on my Forgiveness Friday Docket is the Phone Drop. Not a thing, btw. Unless you are doing a screen test in the name of “science” (or stupidity) to check it’s durability on Youtube.
It’s just that, this morning as I was exiting the washroom, I turned back to grab my phone off the counter and…I dropped it. Luckily and expensively, I have it armour-clad in a post-apocalyptic style casing of my favourite colour (teal) for this very reason. But as it fell, it did not make a thud on the tile floor as it has before, it made a splash. Submerging into cold toilet water, my first trigger was to potty-mouth two F-bombs (and if I can’t use the term “potty-mouth” in this writing situation, I don’t know when else would be a better time) and then the slow secondary reaction of swearing futility was taken over by an actual useful reaction; retrieval of phone from wet toilet bowl. Now fortunately, a Lifeproof case is also marketed as water-resistant, but not when you use it like me.
I am constantly connecting my phone to my car through Apple Car Play or using my headphones which also (begrudgingly) uses the same outlet. So the water-resistant tab that should remain closed never/rarely is. The most vulnerable part of the phone exposed, like a suit of armour with no chest plate. The phone went in lightning-connector-ass first, as most things do when it comes to toilets. The exposed section releasing tiny air bubbles as it held its tiny pocket of breath momentarily, like when you put an upside down cup in the bath.
As you know, time slows down in these moments of peril and I did pull it out relatively quick, simultaneously breathing more F-words (because sometimes no other word will do), to assess the damage. At which point, I dumbly flipped my phone upside down for a few seconds to get a better gander of how much water got in ‘there’; only to realize I was enhancing gravity’s natural ability, helping the movement of water into the phone cavity. So yes, once I figured out how to keep any more water from going where it wasn’t wanted and hastily drying it off, I am pleased to report no harm no foul. Other than the grossness of my phone taking a bath in the toilet, which apparently our phones possess more bacteria than a toilet seat anyway…I got out the tech hygiene spray, that I had been slightly bamboozled into buying a while back, and used A LOT of it.
It’s a small lesson learned today. If I use something properly, the way it is intended, it can do its job and will decrease the incremental doses of cortisol (stress hormone) my body is so used to. In short, take better care of my shit! I also learned the history of Mic Dropping, which at first was an obscure connection in my brain to Phone Dropping, and for obvious reasons not nearly as cool or impactful, especially when done into a toilet. But through this honest exploration, I am also convinced I must drop Mic Dropping references as they are about as witty as dropping my phone in the toilet.
*Forgive someone today, even if it’s yourself. Go buy them a beer and make peace, even if it’s yourself.